Sweet Baby Jesus

It’s hard not to think that at this time next year, I won’t be thinking so much about what *I* want for Christmas, but rather what kind of gifts I can shower our 9-month old son with. It’s going to be fun - though I think we’ll need to be careful to not spoil the young lad. Of course, I am sure all parents go into the ‘hood with the greatest intentions, but then when it comes down to it, the spoil the crap out of their kids.

Even cooler will be seeing how the rest of the family responds to the kids. I say “kids” because my brother and his wife are due not 6 weeks after we are. I think it’s going to be awesome to have two little kids growing up at about the same developmental stages. I’m hoping that as cousins, they will be as close as me and my brother were growing up. They are not going to find out the sex of their baby until the delivery - though I may have convinced them to take the same quiz I did a while back.

I am sure my mother will do exactly what she did for my brother and I around Christmas time - total equality. She was always very conscious of what gifts were given and how much money was spent on each one of us, so that one or both of us would not feel slighted. I can honestly say that there was never a case where one of us felt that way. The funny thing is, now that we’re 33 and 36, she still keeps very close tabs on the gifts she gets us each year. Back then, it was pretty easy - they’d just buy 2 of everything, or matching items, like if my brother got a GI Joe, I got a GI Joe. Somehow, my brother always seemed to open his up first - there are some great pictures of me looking frustrated and disappointed with my presents at the age of 5 or 6 - the truth is, I was just not terribly surprised by any of my gifts, since I had just seen my brother open the same thing.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to it. Any suggestions for gifts for 9-month old boys for Christmas 2009?

An open letter to my Motorola Q

Dear Motorola Q,

I am writing to express my displeasure with your performance of late. You’ve really let me down, as well as countless other people who were looking to contact me at various times recently. I’m beginning to think that our time together is going to be coming to an end soon. Here’s why:

Our first interactions together were way back in 2007. You looked a lot different then - leaner, with less outwardly cosmetic decorations. Here’s a couple pictures; you can clearly see that your appearance has changed dramatically.

Now, back when we first met, we had our difficulties. The whole catastrophic crashing-flashing screen thing was a bit alarming, but I thought we had that figured out after a visit to the Verizon Store - they gladly changed your batteries and the problem seemed to be solved. However, after not too long, you resorted to your old habits and resumed your schitzophrenic ways.

Then, earlier this year, I tried to help you. As with the aforementioned cosmetic improvements, I was happy to see that your underlying morals and your OS were “improved.” This was exciting - I rewarded you with additional memory in the form of a memory card. I must admit, I was disappointed to learn that you did not care about my gift, refusing to even acknowledge that I had provided this for you.

Now, lately, you’re choosing your own hours - deciding when it’s appropriate to work, and when it’s better to just switch off and focus on whatever it is you do when you’re not working. Well, that’s great for you, but it’s just not working for me. And the way you do it - with an abrupt speaker pop to indicate that you’ve had enough - is just offensive.

This morning, when I was asking you to pull up my email, you just stared at me, like I had asked you to translate Cantonese into Punjabi. It’s just my email. I asked you to take a minute - check out for a few minutes and come back to me with my email. Still, you refused.

So, Mr. Q, I am sad to say, our days are numbered. Perhaps for Christmas I will be so lucky to score an iPhone. I could endure the substandard AT&T network in favor of a clearly superior device. If not, I’d be happy to replace you with a Blackberry Bold, offered through Verizon, where it just so happens you come from also.

I wish you the best, but will not miss you.

Who knew?

Wow. Call me impressed. Little did I know when I took that little online quiz that it would be RIGHT!

Yup. It’s a boy. There was really no question in the ultrasound. The little bugger was bouncing around more than enough to see lots of detail… fingers, toes, and a little face. Of course, he looked a whole lot more like Skeletor that a little bundle of joy.

Think I am being harsh? You tell me:

Twelve-Point-Two

Percent.

A 12.2% increase to be specific. Now, were I talking about a stock I recently bought, that would be impressive. Unfortunately, I am talking about the increase in my weight since Ironman USA this past summer. I checked into the race at 193. I weighed in (after a run!) at 216.6 tonight.

My jaw hit the floor… oh no, wait, that was my freakin’ double chin.

I’m really starting to wonder about the whole male-pregnancy-symptoms thing as a potential culprit. Granted, I’ve been eating a shitload of shit lately, and not working out… but what could that possibly have to do with anything?